FailureatLife101

I can't live like this anymore, I'm too messed up. I can't even go a day without- No, no, no. Not again. But before I know it, I am swept back to the last day in the arena. Everything was perfect. So. Perfect. So, so perfect, and I was being driven insane by it. I had one kill on my list. But that one kill was on my mind every second of the arena. A small boy from my district tried to kill me in my sleep. But I was stronger and I took the knife from him and tossed it. He tried to strangle me, pull my hair. So I hit him. And I hit him. And I hit him. Again and again until his eyes closed, and his heart stopped beating. Shortly after hi

Ever wonder why I never retaliate? Have you ever stopped to think why, I always win debates, but always lose fights? Never have you realized my level of self restraint, Or the reason I never look you in the eye, Clenching my fists with eyes threatening to water over. Do you not hear my heavy breathing, When you call me worthless and impotent? Second place, No Good? Have you ever added one and one to see, That my physical strength is greater than yours, But is only used for defense and why? I guess not. "Weak. Stupid. Annoying. Everyone hates you." Every word a hammer driving a chisel, Into my sanity, Cracking it. You don't s

I thank myself for using blue tack to stick your picture on my wall. It's so much easier to take down now without leaving a trace, Or reminder of a past potential.

June 28th, 1774 Dear Diary, It's been a while since I've written last. Forgetful as I am sometimes, I seem to have hidden this book from myself. But as I was tidying up as I usually do on Saturdays, I found it on (of all places) the bookshelf. Hidden in plain sight! Morgan is now seventeen and Benjamin is mentoring him. Contance, sixteen, has grown up, and still looks much like me, with a temper that hasn't changed a bit. The twins are just as devious as usual, even at age eleven. Thomas, thirteen, is still very strong and built. Thaddeus, my baby boy has grown from a tot and is seven now. John, now fourteen, has an addiction to reading

May 14th, 1769 Dear Journal, Thirty-two years old and this is my first leisure journal that I haven't had to scribe in for schooling or lessons. It feels nice. In North Georgia, parchment isn't usually this refined, and the books aren't this fine of quality. Benjamin brought it down last week from Boston for me. He got it for a lower price since it was torn, but I patched it up to be good as new. It's sunny today, and my husband, Benjamin, has taken our horse to fetch corn, and a new haversack from the Indian Site a score of miles over. They give us a discount on account of them being afraid of me and my being fierce. They call me "Waha

Everything about you breaks my heart, and fills me with regret. The funny thing is that you wouldn't even have to do anything. The mere sight of you is like a knife in the back, A punch in the gut.

Our love is elevator music. Subtle, yet hard to ignore. And when everything is filled with silence, It's magnified. Our love is elevator music, Never aging cords and a replay of melodies, That are routine.

You're not here...again. I shouldn't be surprised, It's been your pattern from the start. Either you don't show when I'm desperate, And in need of someone to talk to; When I've needed you the most. Or you are here, But you won't listen to me. You won't silence yourself long enough for me to talk; Long enough for me to to get what I need to off of my chest. This shouldn't surprise me anymore, And it doesn't. It just disappoints me. Up until now, I'd still been holding out hope. Hope that.... ...Maybe I'd finally found someone who actually cared, ...You'd come around, ...All you'd promised hadn't been lies, ...You were different... But you're n

I want to scream, i want to shout I want to throw these horrid feelings out Will you be there to see me through Or will you just leave me too I want someone to wipe my tears Someone to banish all my fears Will you be there to hold me near Or will you just just leave me, my dear I want someone to talk to at night Someone to keep me in wondrous flight Will you be there to keep me in the clouds Or will you let me come crashing down Tell me, will you be there for me in the end Or will you leave me to bleed my friend